


Glass Houses

by Vadianna



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Big Dick kink, I don't even like big dicks, M/M, Masturbation, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, but I tried hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2016-04-30
Packaged: 2018-06-05 13:03:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6705478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vadianna/pseuds/Vadianna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>These things always start with rumors.  Hux is fairly certain that Ren started the rumors himself.  Which makes them baseless.  Right?  And besides, Hux has nothing to worry about in that regard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Glass Houses

"Any questions?"

Hux looks around the table to the six officers he's called to the meeting. He’s gathered his heads of weapons, flight, personnel, intelligence, diplomacy, and loss prevention to determine a strategy to neutralize the rebellion that has overthrown the ruling family on Eriadu, who had been sympathetic to the First Order. Hux is pleased with the results, and feels confident about their success.

"Will we be able to count on the Knights of Ren to infiltrate the main government complex?" asks Major Karrde, the intelligence specialist. "That really will be the key. We've seen indications that the rebel leaders are stationed there exclusively. If we can get in quick and take out the heads, the rest should be fast clean-up. Routine."

Hux glances, annoyed, at Ren, who is seated at the corner of the large table, away from the main group of seven. "I'll speak with Kylo Ren myself, brief him on the operation. I have confidence they will cooperate, and that it should be an easy maneuver."

Ren is dressed in a First Order officer's uniform, something Hux had insisted on after Snoke began requesting he sit in on such meetings. His hair is still a mess, and against regulation, but he has at least pulled it back today, after Hux had broached the subject repeatedly in the past.

Hux had found that Ren’s usual attire, the cloak and mask with voice synthesizer, made the other officers uncomfortable, which did not lend itself to a smooth planning session. Without the mask and helmet, he looked less threatening. He was also unrecognizable to nearly everyone else on the ship, something that Hux had not anticipated. Few but Hux knew what he looked like without the mask, so the other officers didn't even realize Ren was at the meetings. Even better.

This anonymous officer, who wore no rank insignia (a formality for such meetings, where the officers may not know each other) and worked with nobody, was always introduced as an “official observer,” and was promptly ignored by everyone. Ren made no effort to engage, so he sat, unnoticed, through the duration of every session.

Without the mask, however, Hux's suspicions were confirmed - Kylo Ren often slept through such meetings. Irritating and unprofessional, but again, it was a habit that seemed to be beneath the notice of the others present, so Hux always tried to put it out of his mind.

Ren had slept well today, slumped backwards in his seat, his face pointed towards the ceiling, but his eyes flutter open at the mention of his name. He leans forward, focusing on the conversation without much apparent interest. Hux turns back to Karrde.

The officer looks down briefly at her PD, then back up to Hux. "I... think it was a good move, General, to have him stop coming to these meetings. It feels better to plan these without his... judgment."

Hux doesn't bother to correct her, that Ren has no thoughts on such matters. That he has no opinion at all, other than being resentful that he is made to attend. It might be the only opinion he has in common with Hux.

"They do go smoothly," her counterpart, Lieutenant Vos of diplomacy, continues. "But I like seeing him, and knowing he’s real. I hear so many rumors, it’s almost like he’s a legend made up by the crew. I rarely see him on the ship, myself. I'd love to see him in battle though. See if some of the rumors are true."

"He's an absolute nightmare in action." This from Commander Offee, the weapons specialist. "I've gone on missions with him, with the Stormtroopers testing new gear. His victories are... decisive."

Hux spares a glance in Ren's direction. Ren is grinning, and narrows his eyes when he notices Hux's attention. Hux looks away, annoyed that the officers are stroking his ego right in front of him.

"Not that decisive, Commander. If they were, we'd still have Starkiller Base." Hux turns back to Ren as he says it.

Offee laughs at this. The grin vanishes from Ren's face. Hux offers his own smirk in return, turning back to the officers, hoping the slight will discourage further Ren-oriented conversation. Hux is growing embarrassed for them, and considers revealing that Ren is in the room. But he stops himself when he thinks of Karrde’s earlier comment about not having him around. Calling attention to Ren’s face, and this conversation, would only make his future attendance more uncomfortable for all involved.

"The only rumors I hear are the sillier ones.” Katarn, from personnel, continues the farce, because why wouldn’t it keep going. “The most popular right now is that he's... rather muscular."

Hux doesn't like where this is headed. The officers are slowly gathering their PDs, their coats, slowly making their way to the door. Captain Ozzel had left immediately, as was her habit. The other five needed to, before Hux witnessed one more second of this.

"I can't imagine that Kylo Ren has shown himself to many people on the ship, Commander. It's likely he started the rumors himself."

An outright scowl from Ren, now. A bark of laughter from Vos. A more genuine laugh from Katarn, who continues the gossip, much to Hux's chagrin.

"Someone has to have seen him. Changing, in bed, or whatever. He's not a monk."

"He is a monk. That’s exactly what he is." Hux is getting outright angry now, at having to have this conversation in front of Ren, at not being able to dismiss his officers without literally shouting them from the room. As it is, he is having difficulty not raising his voice.

"And changing, is he doing that in front of the Troopers? I don't think he has more than one outfit." Hux’s fury is growing, and he can’t stop himself. He turns toward Ren, who looks offended. He plucks at his collar irritably. Hux doesn't feel like amending his statement to two outfits. Sincerely hopes Ren does have more changes of clothes than that.

Karrde closes her eyes briefly. "Can you imagine, having sex with Kylo Ren?"

"I bet it's wild."

"Actually, I heard something else. That he's... rather well-endowed."

"This is too fucking much." Hux says, aloud, pushed past his limit. "Do I really have to hear speculation about the size of Kylo Ren's penis at a planning meeting?"

Vos averts his eyes, looks chagrined. "Of course, General. My apologies. I had assumed we were socializing after the meeting."

Hux burns with embarrassment. He doesn't mean to come off this harshly, but this is really-

"What's the matter, General? Got something to hide, yourself?"

Everything in the room stills as Ren offers a contribution to the conversation. It’s the first time any of these officers have heard the "observer" speak, and it is, of course, to insult Hux's penis size. Because that's what Ren does. He makes things worse.

"Something to hide?" Hux gives him a withering look. "No, of course not. The opposite, actually."

"The opposite?" Ren has tented his fingers, and holds them in front of his face, giving Hux a level stare over the tips. "You mean to imply that you have... a big dick?"

Hux puts his hand up to his face and closes his eyes. Pulls his hand down. Opens his eyes. One more of the officers has left. Hux is trying to control his temper. Teetering between a good decision and just shutting Ren up. But Ren’s presence itself is a bad decision, and always seems to lend itself to more.

"Yes, Ren. I do. Is that what you wanted to hear? That I have a big dick? There, now we've both started rumors about the size of our penis. We have that in common now."

At the use of Ren's name, the gossips Vos and Katarn dart out the door. Hux notices Karrde beat a hasty retreat at the reference to his own penis size. He doesn't care. His attention snaps back to Ren, who is regarding him with dark eyes that seem to spark with malice and animosity.

"What makes you think I started those rumors myself?"

"Nobody even knows what your face looks like. Do you really expect me to believe that you're... what? Showing off your penis to members of the crew? That these people, after being fucked by a Sith apprentice, then gossip about the size of his dick? Do you honestly think I'm that stupid?"

Ren scowls.

"You started those rumors yourself."

"That doesn't mean they're not true."

"It actually does mean that. It means that nobody thinks you have a big dick."

"Just because nobody here has seen it doesn't mean it's not big!"

Hux smirks. "Did you just admit that nobody has seen this alleged large penis?"

A slight blush creeps over Ren's face. He's beginning to get visibly angry. Hux is enjoying this entirely too much, should really stop, but it’s rare to see Ren so disconcerted. It's childish, but Hux feels like continuing, because Ren brought this on himself. Ren cuts in before he can open his mouth to speculate further on Ren’s empty bed.

"Well... what about you? You just said yours was big, too. I don't hear that being spread around the ship. Anyone seen it lately?"

Now it’s Hux's turn to get hot across the cheeks. Hux hates that Ren has scored a point, but he attempts to hide it, is better at this than Ren.

He shrugs. “A lack of gossip about my penis just means I have discreet sex partners.”

Ren's eyes narrow, and he puts a gloved hand to his head as he considers Hux, looking annoyed when he encounters his pulled-back hair. He frees it, discarding his hair tie on the floor, which draws Hux’s annoyed attention. When he looks back up at Ren, his hair is loose, and his gloved fingers are buried in it. Ren is quiet, still obviously angry.

Hux considers ending the conversation, not liking that Ren is trying to turn it back on Hux. He debates whether leaving in silence is best, or if he should think of a properly scathing last word, but Ren stops him.

"I don't believe you."

Hux sneers. "I don't care if you believe me, that doesn't mean it's not true."

"Who has seen it, then?"

Hux's mouth opened in astonishment at the audacity of the question, and he can feel his face warming again. "Why would I tell you who I have sex with? How is that relevant to... anything?"

A gleam has come back into Ren's eye. Ren is gaining ground, and he knows it. "It's relevant to the current conversation. I think you're lying. About having sex, and about the size of your dick."

"I'm not lying about my-" Hux clamps his mouth shut, too late. Ren laughs at him, a surprisingly jovial laugh that transforms his face. He looks almost happy, which seems like it should be impossible on Kylo Ren. Hux blushes deeper.

Stupid. Childish. Nothing to get upset about. Who cares what Ren thinks. Hux is too busy for this garbage anyway. This is just a juvenile conversation, a bad decision made after a meeting, and he should turn around and grab his coat and walk away, but he can’t because that would be _losing_ -

"Show me."

Ren's mouth falls open in astonishment, then closes again, the astonishment not leaving his face, his eyes, and this is so much more gratifying than their usual debates because Hux can’t normally see his remarks destroy Ren’s composure like this. He’s enjoying this too much.

"Show you what?" Ren seems to have trouble digesting the request.

"Your dick. I don't believe you. I don't think you have a big dick."

Ren's eyebrows lower. "I don't think you do either. Show me yours and I'll show you mine."

This challenge is unnecessary, as Hux is fumbling with his wide belt and the front of his tunic before Ren has even spoken. Ren is also opening the front of his uniform before the challenge is fully issued, angry, incensed.

Hux struggles with his undershorts, trying to draw as much of himself out as possible, having difficulty since he hasn’t bothered to remove his gloves. When he has drawn himself out all the way, he looks up at Ren, defiant.

Ren is scowling at Hux's penis, his own in his hand.

"I told you." Triumphant. Hux has never seen anyone with a larger penis than his. In fact, one of the reasons so few people have seen it is because it is embarrassing in intimate situations. Most are unwilling to continue after seeing him fully hard, and the few that stay only wanted to suck it. Hux eventually stopped asking.

Ren looks back into Hux's face, puzzled. "I didn't actually think you had a big dick."

"Well, the universe is full of wonders." Hux begins tucking his genitals back into his pants, and his eyes stray down to Ren's full hand. They widen, go back up to Ren’s face.

"Fucking hell. You too?"

Ren grins wickedly. "I'm no liar, General."

Hux frowns, his gaze dropping back down to Ren's dick. He considers it a moment, then looks back up.

"Mine is bigger."

Ren looks at him incredulously. "There's no way. Only a fucking Tauntaun has a bigger dick than I do."

Hux rolls his eyes. "Tauntauns don't even have dicks."

"Whatever. Mine's definitely bigger."

Hux looks between them, but honestly can't tell himself. Ren steps around the table, stops next to Hux to compare. Hux looks at his face, scowls. Steps forward and turns so they are facing one another, with their hands side by side, their dicks pointed at each other.

Hux still can't tell. Decides it doesn't matter. "Mine's obviously bigger."

"You're lying. Besides, our pants are in the way. This isn't a good way to judge them."

"I'm not sure how else to measure size, aside from looking at them. Do you propose we find some tools to measure? Continue this in one of the shops?"

"No. Like this." Ren reaches with his other hand and pinches the head firmly between his gloved index finger and thumb. Stretches it out. It's impressive. "Does yours go that far?"

Hux is sure it does. He stretches his own out. Scowls. Tries to stretch it farther, but it's painful. He can't get it to the same length as Ren's. It is noticeably short.

Both are looking down at their hands, but Ren tips his head up, triumphantly, grinning. "I told you mine was bigger."

Hux takes a deep breath, tries to quench his annoyance, the absolutely puerile urge to continue. What is he doing in a conference room, after a meeting, with his dick in his hand, showing off to Kylo Ren? Was this really the best use of his time?

Still.

"This doesn't mean that yours is bigger, it just means that you play with yourself more. Some of us have better things to do with our time."

"General, I am standing here with a big dick in my hand. It is clearly bigger than yours. Your insults are simply hiding your shortcomings. You need to concede."

Too much. This is too much. Shortcomings. Only Kylo Ren would ever dare fucking imply that his dick was small.

"No. Stretching it doesn't count. Whoever's larger when hard obviously has the biggest."

Hux has raised his defiant gaze to Ren's face, who looks at Hux with a blank expression.

"Hard." Ren. Again, not processing the request.

Hux raises his eyebrows. "Would you like me to repeat myself? Maybe your big dick doesn't work like it should?"

At that, Ren turns his face away, obviously angry. He lifts the hand that’s pinching his head, and pulls his glove off between his teeth, dropping it to the floor without thought. He begins stroking furiously with his bare hand, pinching the base in his gloved grip. Hux looks at Ren's flaccid penis for a moment, then removes his own glove with his mouth, sets it carefully on the conference table, licks his palm, and begins massaging the head of his dick, closing his eyes and feeling the softness between his fingers.

This will be harder without lubrication, and under these circumstances. Hux isn't confident he can get fully hard while this angry, while thinking about proving who has the biggest penis. This is too stupid, and he's worried that Ren will get an erection first and claim the win for himself, because of course he would. He tries to blank his mind, summon a memory of the last blowjob he had. Can't remember the face, and the sensation of the warm mouth on his dick, the lips around his head, slips away from his memory.

He reaches for something, anything. Normally when he jerks off, it's in the morning, in the shower, because he woke up with an erection. It is a necessity, not involving much pleasure or requiring much thought, and the heat of the water is generally enough to get him off. He has never had a fertile imagination for this sort of thing, and he gropes mentally for something to turn him on.

He's so angry that only Ren's sneering face, his ridiculous black hair framing it, occurs to him. He hardens somewhat, and begins stroking his shaft, the thought of putting Ren in his place by getting an erection appealing to him. His memory paints a picture of the rest of Ren's body, tall and muscular in the uniform, which looks far better on him than it should. Ren would probably look good in anything but the rags he usually struts around in, and it's a complete waste that he doesn't wear the uniform more often.

Part of Hux knows what's happening, but he shies away from the reality, too overcome by the fact that he's getting harder, and that he's about to prove to Ren just how big his hard, throbbing dick is. He can feel the smooth, taut skin, warm in his hand, but not quite slick enough. Hard, but not quite… there yet. He holds his gloved hand at the base, and his fingers brush against it as he strokes up and down. His face is warming again, and his tongue comes out to moisten his lips, which suddenly feel uncomfortably dry.

He can hear Ren stroking, more wetly and slowly now. He’s close enough to Ren to sense the movement of his arm, the small jerks of his body. Hux imagines Ren's dick, in Ren's hand, huge and hard, truly unexpected. He imagines his uniform jacket open, his undershirt pulled up slightly, caught on his suspenders, showing off the well-muscled abdomen Ren claims to have, somehow whispering it into the crew’s ear.

"What do I get when I win?" Hux's eyes are still clenched closed, and he's begun leaking from the tip of his dick, smearing the slick precum down his shaft with his bare hand and stroking regularly. It occurs to him that he’s making a mess of his other glove, but he discards the thought before it derails his progress. He wants to be harder before he stops.

"When you win?" Ren's voice is strained, Hux can feel his pace slowing.

"That's what I fucking said." Hux is trying to control his breathing, his voice. He doesn’t like the thought of Ren seeing too much, of losing control right now.

"If your dick is bigger than mine," Ren says, tightly, his breath coming in small gasps, "you can fuck me with it."

Hux's hand goes to the base of his erection, squeezes firmly. That's it. That's all he needed to hear. His eyes fly open, he feels a flush across his face, and he focuses on the wall before looking over at Ren. Hux is surprised to see Ren staring intently at him, still stroking, his face only inches away from Hux's own. Ren’s brown eyes are drilling into Hux, his face flushed.

Hux swallows, wills himself to stoicism. "Fine. Are you finished, Lord Ren?"

Hux is keeping his voice level with effort, not wanting to look away from Ren's face to see the progress of his erection. Ren drops his eyes, and Hux's gaze trails down the front of Ren's uniform, takes in his open belt, his pants, sagging around the tops of his knee-high boots, and his erection, held in one hand, large and leaking from the tip.

This time, there's no question. Hux is much larger when hard. Hux squeezes his eyes shut. It's been so long since he's shown anybody this, and he suddenly lacks the confidence to gloat, the thrill of victory slipping away before he can properly grasp and enjoy it. He is disappointed in himself for letting things go this far. And for forcing that concession from Ren.

He opens his eyes again and looks at Ren, whose face is now very red, his eyes on Hux, his expression unreadable.

Hux, suddenly, loses his nerve, drops his eyes. He knows how these situations go.

"Nevermind. Let me..." Hux trails off, stares at his erection. It won't go back into his pants, he's going to have to bring himself off in front of Ren. Ren will have to do the same.

He closes his eyes and shifts his grip, but unexpectedly, Ren's gloved hand comes down on Hux's wrist. He squeezes, and Hux looks up at him.

"Do you want to fuck me, General?"

Hux stares at him. He does, and he burns with shame to admit this, even in his own mind. It’s likely a desire brought on by masturbation, because who wouldn’t want to fuck a person that’s standing right in front of them, while both are fully aroused? That’s all it is. But he won't give this to Ren, knows what it will sound like out loud: an excuse. He won’t bother explaining.

Aside from that, he physically can't fuck Ren, unless Ren is used to bending over for big dicks on a regular basis, which Hux doubts. Even if he did, Hux would probably still prove to be a challenge. And, realistically, Hux has no way to slide into Ren's asshole.

Hux masks his thoughts behind an arrogant look. "You couldn't take it even if I did."

Defiance flashes across Ren's face, but he looks away, and back at Hux, his face clearing immediately. "No," he admits sheepishly, which surprises Hux enough that he lets it show on his face.

He hears a shuffling noise, and glances over his shoulder. The door to the conference room is open, and people are passing by in the hall. As far as Hux can tell, the conference room is raising no interest. He and Ren are both clothed, and are standing behind the large table, but they also have dicks in their hands big enough to choke a Rancor. That's not visible from the hall. Probably. He has a vague memory of one of the officers lingering through at least a portion of the festivities, but doesn’t recall when they left. Hux closes his eyes, finds he really doesn't care. There are worse rumors.

"Close the door, Ren." His voice comes out even, patient as he turns back around to face Ren. He hears the door slide behind him. He steps closer to Ren, slicking his own dick with precum, which is still leaking from the tip.

He stares down at Ren's erection, dark and hard and so, so big. To his surprise, Hux releases his own dick and grabs Ren’s. Hux feels like he’s watching someone else do this, but still enjoys the texture of Ren’s taut, thick, fully hard dick filling his palm. It's also slicked with precum, and Ren makes a gasping noise as his own hand falls away.

Hux releases his own erection completely and raises his other hand to his mouth.  He parts his lips, grasps the middle finger of his glove between his teeth, and pulls his hand out, tossing the glove on the table to lay next to the other. He wraps his clean hand around his own erection, looks up into Ren's face.

"This needs to happen before we can leave."

It's true, and Hux tells himself that it's a practicality. They both have to get off. This is the easiest way to do it, and since he won, he should get to choose.

Ren looks shocked, as shocked as the part of Hux that is aware of what is happening here. But Ren nods, and Hux jerks them both together. Both thick, throbbing, leaking, his palms and thumbs periodically teasing the heads to work the slickness down onto the smooth, warm shafts.

It's been a long time since Hux has done this for someone else, and he's out of practice. But Ren is very hard after trying to out-perform Hux, and they were both very close, so Hux's skill doesn't matter a great deal. From what Hux understands, this is best if you hold both dicks with one hand, but for the two of them, this is impractical.  Two hands are needed. Mors than two hands, really, but that's all Hux has, and he makes it work.

He's pleased when Ren comes first. He can feel Ren tense and strain just before, and he cups his palm over the head to catch it, hating the thought of Ren soiling his uniform.

The thought of Ren coming into his hand is enough to finish Hux, his dick straining and tensing even while Ren is still leaking into his other palm. His mind rationalizes this as a logical end to these activities, nothing more, and he stops thinking about it as he lets the orgasm tense and coil through his body.

He comes into his own palm, and finds himself with two handfuls of semen and no place to put them. He blinks, staring at his hands and glancing around the room in a mental fog, feeling stupid and defeated by this simple problem. But there is no sink, no napkins, not even a trashcan. With regret, Hux scrapes his hands into the only thing he spots, which is a waterglass. He takes another and drinks from it, draining it, giving himself a moment to stare at the other glass and watch two handfuls of semen slide down the side and into the water before he turns back to Ren.

"Say it."

Ren scowls, looks down at the ground. "Your dick is bigger," he bites out reluctantly.

Hux smirks victoriously, leaning back against the table. Ren slumps next to him, sulking, his arms folding across his chest, his uniform front still open, his flaccid penis hanging down the front of his pants. Hux has also not bothered to tuck himself back in yet. A moment passes, and Hux considers dressing and finally grabbing his cloak to leave. Ren interrupts this thought. Again.

"My balls are bigger."

Hux frowns, looks down at Ren's penis again. His balls are not visible, concealed by the pants.

Hux considers this challenge for a moment. He's never thought himself to have overly-large testicles.

Still.

"Must we go through this again, Ren? Do you really want to lose to me so badly?"

Ren looks over, a glint in his eye.

"What do I get if I win?"

Hux raises his eyebrows. "If you win?"

"Because my balls are bigger. What do I get?"

Hux considers him a moment. Is staring directly into Ren’s challenging gaze. "Loser has to swallow the winner's sac."

Before the words are out of his mouth, Hux is pulling his pants down around his knees.


End file.
